About
This hat is essentially a dad joke, a beige-colored scampering little gremlin of a headpiece that trickles down with unpalatable drips into something auburny, vivid and tacky at its punchline. It’s mentally and morally demanding to imagine someone wearing this, or at least anyone you’ve ever met, so perhaps it was a decadent duster, better suited for mopping up grime than any aesthetic function in any era you’ve ever heard of. It would be hard to miss anyone wearing this particular style of chapeau, projecting repulsively through rocky outcrops or strident tundra, although it would definitely make you want to try; and to that end it’s a wonder you even managed to notice this at all. Better put it back.
― In-game description